Aug
19
2009
Divorced with one child family hates ex-husband, back together and expecting again. How to break the news?
Chris asked:
This is extremely difficult as I’m looking for a way to break the news to my family as they all **** my ex-husband due to a not so nice divorce. We have been seeing each other again for almost 9 months after being apart since our son was only a few months old. My ex-husband lives in the Florida Keys and I currently live in NY. I have a great job that I’m nervous about giving up since there is not much for employment in the Florida Keys unless I want to work in a shop in KeyWest or in a hotel/Bed Breakfast.. He is begging me daily to quit my job and move down there, offering to pay my bills off. He would like me to due this sooner than later since we are expecting another child in September.. I am so confused and looking for some suggestions. My parents in which I am very close with KNOW that we are seeing each other again ,but cringe every time I mention his name and maybe movie back to florida, especially since my son is there only grandchild. Help!
This is extremely difficult as I’m looking for a way to break the news to my family as they all **** my ex-husband due to a not so nice divorce. We have been seeing each other again for almost 9 months after being apart since our son was only a few months old. My ex-husband lives in the Florida Keys and I currently live in NY. I have a great job that I’m nervous about giving up since there is not much for employment in the Florida Keys unless I want to work in a shop in KeyWest or in a hotel/Bed Breakfast.. He is begging me daily to quit my job and move down there, offering to pay my bills off. He would like me to due this sooner than later since we are expecting another child in September.. I am so confused and looking for some suggestions. My parents in which I am very close with KNOW that we are seeing each other again ,but cringe every time I mention his name and maybe movie back to florida, especially since my son is there only grandchild. Help!
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By StrawberryAniseShortcake, August 20, 2009 @ 7:31 am
Why do you have to be the one to move? Why can’t he move to where you are? Maybe that is the answer. If you do decide to move to Florida then you have no choice but to explain to your family WHY you’ve made the choice to do so. What is it about your ex that your family hates so much? Was he abusive to you before?
By TD, August 23, 2009 @ 8:15 am
Your stupid, why would you get back with him after a messy divorce…..are you aware that what ever got you two divorced in the first place could happen again. With another messy break up. Tell your family now, so they will know how stupid you are. And I bet you were the one to get them involved in the first break up.
By Nancy T, August 23, 2009 @ 10:19 pm
well if hes a good guy i say go for it your pregnant and hes the father of your son dont let your family stop you you’ll regret it.why did you divorce in the first place?
By farmergyrl23, August 25, 2009 @ 5:44 am
This is a tough question, but your both adults and if you really love this man than follow your heart. But you also have to think of whats in the best interest for your son. If all your family is up in NY and you move your son to Florida, I think he will have a tough time adjusting and won’t get to spend alot of time with his grandparents. The same can be said for the new baby, but at the same time children deserve to spend as much time possible with their fathers as well. I would just sit down with your parents and explain the situation, they will probably be upset, but I think eventually they will get over it after all you are an adult.
By Undomestic Goddess, August 28, 2009 @ 2:29 pm
Hmm, why did you guys break up in the first place? That would maybe shed some light.
And while family is important, if you really love the guy and you guys are gonna make it work, your partner does come before your family. And keep in mind that they really do love you. They might not agree with your decision, but I’m sure they’ll support you anyway.
Grats on your pregnancy!
By madretres77, August 31, 2009 @ 3:18 pm
Pray and ask your heavenly Father for guidance. Your families reaction is the least of worries. You have a career that may take a serious blow by moving to no job prospect *** key west!!
Pray for guidance. Hope it turns out for the best.
By vaivagabundo, September 3, 2009 @ 6:57 pm
Sounds like a love **** relationship but look, its YOUR life so your family are not important, you are the one expecting and this guy is the father.
Speak to your parents and ask if they love their grandson. If they say yes then tell them there is another one on the way, and that if they dont drop this hatred of your husband they may never get to see either child again. Take it or leave it.
You are actually in a very strong position here.
By American Beauty, September 5, 2009 @ 12:46 am
This is a tricky one. If it doesn’t work out, you will be stuck with 2 chidren to raise alone. The damage is done now, so there’s no sense in hiding the pregnancy. Tell your parents the truth now and avoid trouble later. If I did decide to give up my job and move to Florida, I would have to be remarried to this man first. Nothing in your question suggested this. If you move with him without the benefit of marriage, you’ll be a sitting duck.
Think seriously about this one. And above all, don’t move anywhere until he remarries you. Best wishes.
By esha, September 7, 2009 @ 1:42 pm
If family is supportive of you and your children i would say to tell them. now about ex husband making promises….i suppose there is a reason that you both are getting a divorce, some issue that was the breaking stone. I experienced the same thing. promises where made and i was expecting…everything was good for 5months. now i regret listening to the empty promises. re-evaluate what the issues are, ask for space and if he respects that, well then he respects you. if he doesnt then there is no respect. you can settle for less, or improve self esteeem and wait for the best. he is out there. good luck
By snd28, September 8, 2009 @ 2:40 am
who cares if your parents **** him. they are not the ones he wants to be with. however, i wouldn’t move down to florida. get him to come to ny. because you’re right , there are no jobs in florida. why can’t him come to you?